2019 REFLECTIONS
This past year was one of the most tumultuous roller coasters I found myself on. I was in a relationship that was beyond complicated, found myself in a position where I knew I needed to make a career change, and was struggling hard with emotional and binge eating. But learning from the past, learning from my missteps and mistakes is something that will most definitely has a new meaning for me.
If there is one thing that I have learned from 2019 it is that kindness matters. Being kind to yourself and to others, is so important. And believe me, I am really really good at being unkind when arguing with others. Particularly so in my personal relationships with the people I love the most. Words matter, they can uplift a persons spirts, or cut right through their soul, and I am making it a priority for myself to choose the road less traveled and not react to other people that say negative things to and or about me. This past year I was called fat, ugly, a whore, a person who is unchristian, and much much worse. And while I chose to ignore those statements, they also cut very deep into my core and caused me to react negatively to those that were close to me.
Everyone is entitled to have their own opinions and ideas, but I want to remind myself and you all to please take a moment to think about what you say and how that effects others. While I certainly experienced a great deal of negative, there were also many more moments where I was called out for being a positive influence, beautiful, and a person who truly cares and loves deeply. I was praised for my hard work, rewarded for my dedication to my career and felt truly empowered so many times. That connection, that praise, that feeling of knowing that I am on the right path, is what I want to focus on in 2020.
The ups and downs of life can certainly take you to so many places you never imagined. If you had told me at the beginning of 2019, that I would be moving halfway across the country for an opportunity of a lifetime, I would have said you were crazy. I am so thankful for all the experiences I had this past year because they made me even stronger than I could have ever anticipated. I am at a point in my life, where I feel like my potential is limitless and I have so much more that I want to accomplish, and a few hurtful words are most definitely not going to hold me back.
So my intention for 2020 is to focus on the good, be thankful for the little things in life, and live every day to its fullest. I have no control over the words and the choices of others, rather I choose to clear out the white noise and pursue a life full of amazing things to come. At the end of the day, haters are going to hate, and I am just going to have to keep doing me. So cheers to a new year, a new me, and a new energy full of kindness and gratitude.